I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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