I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
