i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
