So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
