i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
