Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
