they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
