My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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