At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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