He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
