i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
