Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
