i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
