He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize