that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
