The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
