Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize