Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
