is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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