Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
