READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize