I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
