i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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