i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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