She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
