Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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