I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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