so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
