We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You made out with two different species that night
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
