i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
