I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
