The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's never too late to be topless.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
