Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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