party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I didn't notice because vodka
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
