FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
