I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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