If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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