quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
