I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
