hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
