my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize