Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
being pregnant is like rehab
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
