Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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