please come you make the beer taste better
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
