I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
