This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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