You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
