the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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