Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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