i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
