You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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