Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
