uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
