So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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