Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
