epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
