The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
im holly from the hills drunk
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
