then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
