You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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