It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
