Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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