It's Friday. Sex?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
