hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i will never coherently bang her
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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