just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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