lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
if only i could text you this smell
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
