yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
