you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
